雨过天晴。

The Red Room. 11.2008

The storm passes, leaving in its wake a pale, calm tranquility.

From without, love is an enclosed, stifling world--full of turmoil, passions, intense undercurrents, and yet still sparkles of pure joy.

The Buddha says: leave the red dust behind. Instead, seek clarity, peace. Become one with the universe and discard the detritus of merely human things.

Sometimes I wish I could. Take the mantle of his words and place it upon my shoulders. What is it like to not think, not yearn, not want, and simply to be? Everyday must then be either a miracle or party to a world of dust.

I just want to live. Is this so much to ask?

Cross Roads?

Lights. 06.28.2008

任何事都有开始，有结束。
我现在面对的
是开始，还是结束？
短短人生可以有一千万个故事，
也可以只有一个。
要我如何选择？

虽然
从没向往那平凡的安稳，
那平静的安宁。。。
可也经不起这无聊的起伏，
这无形的风雨，
这乏味的冲动！

I.

Stone. 06.02.2008.

I am the project of my life;
I am the artwork of my life.
My personhood is the ultimate expression
of who I am.
To that end, I strive and strive.
Were I Extrovert, my external life would change according to Me.
But I Introvert, and therefore I am the one who alters.
As for authenticity—I am the Me
that sees behind these eyes, thinks behind this mind, and feels behind this heart.
That the eyes see differently, or the mind thinks or heart feels
some other way,
does not make false this eternal fact.

We small immortals have equal right to truth:

I am who I am;

although everything changes,

nothing is changed.

长久以前的他。

Amber. 03.2008.

He is nothing to me. I am nothing to him. Our worlds do not intersect; our past never did. I know nothing about him. He knows nothing about me. Apart for the one night I affected him, we could have been ships in the night, forever more.

I wish it were so.

But now, it is almost sad, this state of nothingness.

I can no longer remember him as a person, separate and distinct. His image has been blurred by all the things I desired in an ideal lover, tempered by ridiculous dreams and vestigial fancy. Who is he really? Did I ever know? Will I ever know it, or have that opportunity?

But too many maybes have slipped through my grasp.

I no longer dream.

5.09.2008

岁月神速。 转身二十几， 一生的四分之一消失在眼前。 有何感叹？ 我词穷。人生是梦。 而我是否会看破红尘， 展翅飞？哪是地点， 哪是方向。 有时只想逃离。

于此看来， 我最会逃避。 在感情， 思考，碎锁人生。 虽是开朗人， 也有灰色的叹息。 如果再有时间金钱， 地位权利， 又怎样？

每个生日都重新自检。 结论： 路子还长着呢。

Cherry Blossom Rules.

Well, it’s been a while, but since I have no readers ;) I doubt anyone missed me.

I recently signed up on GoodReads, which is one of those proliferating social networking sites. This one is based on books and—you guessed it—reading. Back in the days of my sproghood, I was a truly voracious reader. I devoured books like junk food, and most were just as junky. Loads of romance novel drivel, run-of-the-mill fantasy (Piers Anthony? David Eddings?), and mystery/thrillers by 3-novels-a-year authors. Interspersed with some true gems, of course, all of which I spent this week obsessively listing onto that website. The list is hovering around 800 and growing (those are only the ones I still remember and liked). So by my estimates, I probably read around 3,000 books in the past 10 years. Pretty impressive, eh? Even if I do say so myself, until I saw the most voracious reader listing at 18,250 books!!! Where do they find the time? Do they do nothing else? Oh well. If anyone is interested, you can find me here.

The Cherry Blossom Festival. 04.05.2008

Anyways, DC is turning all the loveliest shades of green. A while ago, I attended the Cherry Blossom Festival at its opening. Their exhuberant flowering looked like puffs of cotton candy, so deliciously enticing against the pure blue sky, creamy white or faintly tinged with pink. Two weeks later, even the last stray petals have vanished into the earth.

What is it about beauty like this, that it cannot last? Keats, you are wrong!

Another Year.

Boston City Hall. 2007.

So it passes. 2007 into 2008. Time speeding by, and nothing we can do about it, after all, but enjoy what we have right now and try to live life in the moment..

Well, here's to a new year, people!